I do not know if this means anything, but it shook me up. It was presented on a scroll, and I could not move until it was over. Please do not think that I claim to have prohpetic visions, I just had what I had. I would like to share it just in case.
Vision of Candy on Aug 18,1999
We have all been on a long journey on a great ship over time. We have forgotten who our Captain is. We have forgotten the purpose of our voyage. We have committed mutiny. We have turned our eyes off of the master. We had tried to take control, even persecuting our master of a crime he did not commit. We have rendered him unjust and not of sound mind because we have forgotten the truth. We have listened to the other one. He has stirred up grumbling and caused mistrust between us in order to get us to jump ship. He has even convinced us to Execute our captain and master, accusing him of things. We came to believe things of hearsay. We have become so weary that we have forgotten the truth. We have all felt the weariness of the journey and have been convinced that this is the truth we feel instead of tiredness. Raise up oh crews of the ship Israel. Sounds the horns and return to your posts. The land has been spotted. Pull back into the ship all those you can still save from the raging sea. Bind up the conspirator. That great disturber of the truth and hater of justice. He will be tried for treason and murder when we get to the shore. Beg for your master’s mercy and forgiveness so that even if there are good works at the last minute…they will show him honor and respect. And he will remember your last works instead of when you strayed. You must do this before you see the land, else the events will render you lost in wrath. Turn away from the lies Israel, time is nigh! The master WILL finish the journey as he promised. He has not deceived you, but he brought you with him while you were eager because he loves you. Some of you do not remember the beginning of this journey because you were born along the way, but you have heard the stories and some of you have read the ships log and know! With all that evidence, you still do not believe your captain? See your mistakes now Israel before it is too late, I know you are weary but only the faithful will not be tried for high treason when we get to the shore. The only reason I have not struck you all down is because of your master who hopes you will finish the journey in faith. Yeah I am giving you until you spot the shore to make right, but as soon as the land is seen by all, it will be too late.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
This is not for everyone to read.
Okay, here it is, my testimony!
I was born in 1957, to a pedophile father in prison, and a mother who came from an abusive home. I was almost born in jail because my father robbed a gas station while my mother was in the car, and my mother went to jail too. Thank goodness they let her out to give birth to me! My mother endured many live- in men in her home growing up. (my grandmother never married then, just did the live-in thing.....4 kids, 4 different fathers) My mother began enduring sexual abuse at a very early age. This was in the 1950’s, when that was shunned and ignored. My grandmother came from a broken home too, stemming from a high 33rd level Mason.. He had a Christian burial, followed by a mason burial with all the demonic rites cited. It is all documented, I have the obit if you would like. He was a member of the Knights of the Templar, and a Big time Shriner. My mother left her home @ 14 yrs and married my father to get out. He went to prison while she was pregnant with me for robbery and raping a 9 yr old girl. My only full blooded sister was born 3 ½ yrs later. My mother divorced him when I was about 3 yrs old. She married my stepfather right away. They had 2 more live girls together (and 8 miscarriages or still borns). He also came from an abusive home, but this was physical beatings
Folks, I got the best of both worlds. Sexual abuse, and physical beatings. Had I been seen in a hospital these days with the strap marks on my back, butt, legs, and face, my parents would have lost parental rights. Had there been someone to recognize a sexually abused child, I may have received help. But that did not happen. I learned to both fear and hate the world.....and all who lived there.
Amazingly enough, I was so intelligent that I sailed through grade school. The teachers did not know what to do with me. They let me study beyond my grade (this was before talented and gifted classes). My mother had my IQ tested, and I scored 165! This went so far, then I became bored.
In the 5th grade, my parents put me in a catholic school (my stepfather was catholic), and I was so unruly and rebellious. I was in fierce fights every day. I played sports. The girls hated my talents. I had been accustomed to playing sports with the local boys, so I had become very tough. The girls did not understand this. I had no understanding of emotional states of girls, and I did not want to. I was the Tomboy your mother had nightmares about!
The Catholic school advised my parents, I should not return for the 6th grade. I went back to public school. The 6th grade teacher I had was very embolden to encourage a few of us to study at our own pace. We did. I was actually enjoying school again. Straight A’s all the way. But like everything else......All good things must end.......
One night, in the middle of the night, while at my grandmother’s house due to the heat in our home being broken, Our home, and everything we had, burnt to the ground. I actually woke up before the phone call to my grandmother, the first clue that I would have dreams. I knew what happened and went back to sleep without being told.
I was never a normal girl. This fire took the life of my only friend.....my Rat. I always had a report with animals, and this actually shook my hardened heart!
My mother, decided to contact my biological father after the fire. She wanted him to know “we were okay”. Since I was so young during his trials, I never knew he was a pedophile. My mother failed to inform me of this before she granted visitation rights.
From the age of 11-14, I endured my real father’s molestations and rapes, and my stepfather’s beatings! Then my mother forced me to testify against my biological father for rape. In those days, the victim was persecuted! I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!
I ran away, I started stealing, doing drugs, drinking, sleeping around . I will not go into the details, but in 1973 I was sentenced to a reform school in Oregon. I spent 2 yrs in high security there. I was remanded to adult court for attempted murder and several counts of burglary and robbery after an escape from there. The people dealing with me knew that I was intelligent, and they somehow held out hope in me! They went to bat for me. I had already tattooed my body beyond belief, and through the state I had allowed them to try and remove them, leaving hideous scars. Although they are recovered with beautiful art, I still live with them everyday as I write this. Charges were dropped and they paroled me @ 17 yrs old to my biological father! He never tried to touch me again. I was seeking to be emancipated when I met an adult male who I though was for real. I was pregnant with my first child right away. When I refused an abortion, the father tried to beat me to death. I escaped and went to a home for unwed mothers. I met my first husband while I resided there. It was a great home, but not much in way of discipline.....so of course, I took advantage.
I had my daughter in Dec 1975, 4 days before I turned 18. I married the “nice guy” I met when my daughter was 3 weeks old. He was willing to accept her. Of course, when I became pregnant right away.....things changed. I had a medical condition with this one that rendered me bed ridden. If I dared to get up, I would bleed profusely. I felt rejected again when my husband demanded I abort. I refused. I turned to someone I never knew. I begged for mercy. I prayed everyday to Jesus Christ. I had no idea who he was, I only had heard his name when in catholic school. But I was desperate.
When I was 5 weeks from delivering, I had a major bleed. They rushed me into ultrasound because the clots I was passing were the size of your fist. I suddenly stopped.......The ultrasound showed I was normal. The doctors were all saying “it is a miracle” I never grasped the whole scope of it ( I had a Placenta previa). I was released against medical advice due to the fact I was 4 cm dilated. ( my husband refused me to stay) I delivered a healthy baby boy 2 weeks later, (11 1/2 mo. after my first child) although my hemorrhaging afterwards caused me to stay in the hosp, later having my tubes tied (at 18, this was rare) End of child bearing!
Now come in post partum depression, something nobody knew about. I had nightmares every night....they were paralyzing, some demonic. I could not function. I hated my life and after hearing the bitter words of accusations from this man I married. I left. The chief of police took me out of this isolated town.....and of course, tried to seduce me. I WAS SO SICK OF PEOPLE!
I spent the next 3 yrs fighting custody in my divorce (my ex happened to re-marry a freak who worked for child protective services) I could spend a lot of time on what happened here. Bottom line is, I lost custody of my son, but my daughter was not his, so I raised her......and my son grew up thinking I had abandoned him. It bit me later, believe me! I spent 5 yrs with an alcoholic, abusive man who almost beat me to death many times. His ex killed his 2 yr old son, and then blamed me for interfering in her relationship! I was so grief stricken with the loss of this child I helped raise. I left him and started stripping to raise my daughter. Shortly after I started traveling, I had a premonition that something bad happened in my family. Coming home from a dancing contract on the Oregon coast. The closer I got, the worse it got. I had my babysitter go to my door when I got home. There was a note on it. Call my grandmother. My sister’s son had been beaten to death at 18 mo. old! To this day, no one has been charged with that crime.
I almost drank myself into oblivion, I started shooting meth. I met a cook in the “good ole days” when I was stripping for a living. I prostituted myself....but I never really gave myself over. I lived with him for 5 yrs. I was hooked on meth and heroin. I was on stage in Alaska when I looked at the audience and decided I had enough. I went o NA and AA and left everything behind. I was going to get clean or die.....I knew it!
I went back to Oregon and made a few more mistakes. Then I started having revelations and visions. I got scared.
This could become a novel, but I will make it short. I tried to walk right in the eyes of my newly found God. I began having spiritual warfare right away. I remarried a couple times, but my last husband left me for a teenage boy. (guess it is true you marry someone like your father). That all right after I was delivered a death sentence, oh yeah, I have chronic active Hepatitis C from all my drug use. I had 2 full courses of treatment, chemotherapy that failed! Folks, I have been to the pit and back.
I will say this....I love God and Jesus with all my heart, no matter what. I am married now to a man who has a true heart, but he is manic depressive. That is okay, compared to what I have seen, he is truly an honest man who loves God. I love him with all my heart! I endure spiritual warfare every single day of my life. I am used to it by now. God MUST have a purpose for me. The dreams and visions I have are sometimes so intense, I cannot share them. But I have hope and faith. I know for a fact that these are the end times for the world. I may be damaged goods, but I have Love in my heart in spite of all that has happened......that my friends is a miracle. He came to save the broken, there are not many more broken than I. If he can save me, he most certainly can save you.
Amazing grace has a very deep meaning......listen, seek, trust, Jesus is Lord.
Candy
I was born in 1957, to a pedophile father in prison, and a mother who came from an abusive home. I was almost born in jail because my father robbed a gas station while my mother was in the car, and my mother went to jail too. Thank goodness they let her out to give birth to me! My mother endured many live- in men in her home growing up. (my grandmother never married then, just did the live-in thing.....4 kids, 4 different fathers) My mother began enduring sexual abuse at a very early age. This was in the 1950’s, when that was shunned and ignored. My grandmother came from a broken home too, stemming from a high 33rd level Mason.. He had a Christian burial, followed by a mason burial with all the demonic rites cited. It is all documented, I have the obit if you would like. He was a member of the Knights of the Templar, and a Big time Shriner. My mother left her home @ 14 yrs and married my father to get out. He went to prison while she was pregnant with me for robbery and raping a 9 yr old girl. My only full blooded sister was born 3 ½ yrs later. My mother divorced him when I was about 3 yrs old. She married my stepfather right away. They had 2 more live girls together (and 8 miscarriages or still borns). He also came from an abusive home, but this was physical beatings
Folks, I got the best of both worlds. Sexual abuse, and physical beatings. Had I been seen in a hospital these days with the strap marks on my back, butt, legs, and face, my parents would have lost parental rights. Had there been someone to recognize a sexually abused child, I may have received help. But that did not happen. I learned to both fear and hate the world.....and all who lived there.
Amazingly enough, I was so intelligent that I sailed through grade school. The teachers did not know what to do with me. They let me study beyond my grade (this was before talented and gifted classes). My mother had my IQ tested, and I scored 165! This went so far, then I became bored.
In the 5th grade, my parents put me in a catholic school (my stepfather was catholic), and I was so unruly and rebellious. I was in fierce fights every day. I played sports. The girls hated my talents. I had been accustomed to playing sports with the local boys, so I had become very tough. The girls did not understand this. I had no understanding of emotional states of girls, and I did not want to. I was the Tomboy your mother had nightmares about!
The Catholic school advised my parents, I should not return for the 6th grade. I went back to public school. The 6th grade teacher I had was very embolden to encourage a few of us to study at our own pace. We did. I was actually enjoying school again. Straight A’s all the way. But like everything else......All good things must end.......
One night, in the middle of the night, while at my grandmother’s house due to the heat in our home being broken, Our home, and everything we had, burnt to the ground. I actually woke up before the phone call to my grandmother, the first clue that I would have dreams. I knew what happened and went back to sleep without being told.
I was never a normal girl. This fire took the life of my only friend.....my Rat. I always had a report with animals, and this actually shook my hardened heart!
My mother, decided to contact my biological father after the fire. She wanted him to know “we were okay”. Since I was so young during his trials, I never knew he was a pedophile. My mother failed to inform me of this before she granted visitation rights.
From the age of 11-14, I endured my real father’s molestations and rapes, and my stepfather’s beatings! Then my mother forced me to testify against my biological father for rape. In those days, the victim was persecuted! I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!
I ran away, I started stealing, doing drugs, drinking, sleeping around . I will not go into the details, but in 1973 I was sentenced to a reform school in Oregon. I spent 2 yrs in high security there. I was remanded to adult court for attempted murder and several counts of burglary and robbery after an escape from there. The people dealing with me knew that I was intelligent, and they somehow held out hope in me! They went to bat for me. I had already tattooed my body beyond belief, and through the state I had allowed them to try and remove them, leaving hideous scars. Although they are recovered with beautiful art, I still live with them everyday as I write this. Charges were dropped and they paroled me @ 17 yrs old to my biological father! He never tried to touch me again. I was seeking to be emancipated when I met an adult male who I though was for real. I was pregnant with my first child right away. When I refused an abortion, the father tried to beat me to death. I escaped and went to a home for unwed mothers. I met my first husband while I resided there. It was a great home, but not much in way of discipline.....so of course, I took advantage.
I had my daughter in Dec 1975, 4 days before I turned 18. I married the “nice guy” I met when my daughter was 3 weeks old. He was willing to accept her. Of course, when I became pregnant right away.....things changed. I had a medical condition with this one that rendered me bed ridden. If I dared to get up, I would bleed profusely. I felt rejected again when my husband demanded I abort. I refused. I turned to someone I never knew. I begged for mercy. I prayed everyday to Jesus Christ. I had no idea who he was, I only had heard his name when in catholic school. But I was desperate.
When I was 5 weeks from delivering, I had a major bleed. They rushed me into ultrasound because the clots I was passing were the size of your fist. I suddenly stopped.......The ultrasound showed I was normal. The doctors were all saying “it is a miracle” I never grasped the whole scope of it ( I had a Placenta previa). I was released against medical advice due to the fact I was 4 cm dilated. ( my husband refused me to stay) I delivered a healthy baby boy 2 weeks later, (11 1/2 mo. after my first child) although my hemorrhaging afterwards caused me to stay in the hosp, later having my tubes tied (at 18, this was rare) End of child bearing!
Now come in post partum depression, something nobody knew about. I had nightmares every night....they were paralyzing, some demonic. I could not function. I hated my life and after hearing the bitter words of accusations from this man I married. I left. The chief of police took me out of this isolated town.....and of course, tried to seduce me. I WAS SO SICK OF PEOPLE!
I spent the next 3 yrs fighting custody in my divorce (my ex happened to re-marry a freak who worked for child protective services) I could spend a lot of time on what happened here. Bottom line is, I lost custody of my son, but my daughter was not his, so I raised her......and my son grew up thinking I had abandoned him. It bit me later, believe me! I spent 5 yrs with an alcoholic, abusive man who almost beat me to death many times. His ex killed his 2 yr old son, and then blamed me for interfering in her relationship! I was so grief stricken with the loss of this child I helped raise. I left him and started stripping to raise my daughter. Shortly after I started traveling, I had a premonition that something bad happened in my family. Coming home from a dancing contract on the Oregon coast. The closer I got, the worse it got. I had my babysitter go to my door when I got home. There was a note on it. Call my grandmother. My sister’s son had been beaten to death at 18 mo. old! To this day, no one has been charged with that crime.
I almost drank myself into oblivion, I started shooting meth. I met a cook in the “good ole days” when I was stripping for a living. I prostituted myself....but I never really gave myself over. I lived with him for 5 yrs. I was hooked on meth and heroin. I was on stage in Alaska when I looked at the audience and decided I had enough. I went o NA and AA and left everything behind. I was going to get clean or die.....I knew it!
I went back to Oregon and made a few more mistakes. Then I started having revelations and visions. I got scared.
This could become a novel, but I will make it short. I tried to walk right in the eyes of my newly found God. I began having spiritual warfare right away. I remarried a couple times, but my last husband left me for a teenage boy. (guess it is true you marry someone like your father). That all right after I was delivered a death sentence, oh yeah, I have chronic active Hepatitis C from all my drug use. I had 2 full courses of treatment, chemotherapy that failed! Folks, I have been to the pit and back.
I will say this....I love God and Jesus with all my heart, no matter what. I am married now to a man who has a true heart, but he is manic depressive. That is okay, compared to what I have seen, he is truly an honest man who loves God. I love him with all my heart! I endure spiritual warfare every single day of my life. I am used to it by now. God MUST have a purpose for me. The dreams and visions I have are sometimes so intense, I cannot share them. But I have hope and faith. I know for a fact that these are the end times for the world. I may be damaged goods, but I have Love in my heart in spite of all that has happened......that my friends is a miracle. He came to save the broken, there are not many more broken than I. If he can save me, he most certainly can save you.
Amazing grace has a very deep meaning......listen, seek, trust, Jesus is Lord.
Candy
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